Home >> Jokes >> Medical jokes
While my friend was working as
While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman stormed up to her desk. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday," she complained. The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. "I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing," he said. "Why do you think it was taken here?" "After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly." "I think" explained the surgeon gently, "that means your cataract operation was a success."
Kitchy kitchy koo Look
Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies) \"Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled... isn\'t she adorable?\" Friend: \"But your kid didn\'t smile.\" Father: \"I was talking about the nurse.\"
Medicine in my country is so advanced
An Israeli doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks." A German doctor said "That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks." A Russian doctor said, "In my country, medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another and have them both looking for work in two weeks." The American doctor, not to be outdone, said "Hah! We are about to take an asshole out of Texas, put him in the White House and half the country will be looking for work the next day."
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die. "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. "Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly. "If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "He said you're going to die," she replied.
"I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy''s tooth." "Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office."