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In a deal engineered by veteran
In a deal engineered by veteran mouthpieces Stein and Cacheris, Ms. Lewinsky has apparently headed off possible perjury charges by offering a full throated confession to Kenneth Starr. Sources close to the investigation report Starr is pumping Ms. Lewinsky for details concerning an oral pact with Mr. Clinton to withhold evidence. Although the independent prosecutor's team will drill Monica prior to her testimony, beltway observers do not anticipate a full dress rehearsal.
If Sonia Gandhi becomes the Prime Minister
Top Ten list ...If Sonia Gandhi becomes the Prime Minister.... 10.There will be branches of Olive Garden all over India and they will be called OZinda Bagicha!! 9. Their only vegetarian dish will be Eggplant Parmesan and it will be called Anda-Pauda Parmeshwaran!! 8. All Vadapav Gaadis and Stalls will be selling Pizza and Pasta. 7. India's National Sport will be - Ofcourse Soccer. 6. Laloo will lose his position as the national animal and will be replaced by Jayalalitha! 5. National vegetable-Zucchini 4. There will be Pope John Paul's 'yearly' visit - twice every year!! 3. Jahangir Art gallery will be renamed to "Michaelangelo's Confetti house"!! 2. Men in Indian Army will wear Mini Skirts!! And ...the number one thing that will happen if Sonia Becomes the Prime Minister of India is..... 1.All Sindhi People will get promotions in their positions because she thinks they are all ITALIANS!! (Kotwani, Multani, Vaswani ......resemble Mussolini, Gianini, Benini etc.....*Kulkarni also have a fair chance*...)
Jayalalitha tax dues plight
A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in Chennai. He's stopped in traffic and thinks, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual we're not even moving." He notices a police officer walking down thehighway in between the cars and he rolls down his window and says,"Excuse me officer, what's the hold up?" "Jayalalitha just found out the verdict, and she's all depressed. She's lying down in the middle of the highway and she's threatening to douse herself in gasoline and light herself on fire. She just doesn't have Rs.85 Crores for the tax dues. I'm walking around taking up a collection for her".
Mayawati goes to Lallu's house
Mayawati came to Lallu's house with a goat. Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho? Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai? Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.
Bush, Manmohan, Sonia and Aishwarya in train
Bush, Manmohan, Sonia and Aishwarya in train The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything. Sonia is thinking: These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him. Aishwarya is thinking: Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped. Bush is thinking: Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me. Manmohan is thinking: If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush again.
Laloo the matchmaker
Laloo the matchmaker Laloo talks to his son, "I want you to marry a girl of my choice ". Son : "I want to choose my own bride". Laloo : "But the girl is Ambaniís daughter." Son : "Well, in that case..." Next Laloo approaches Ambani , "I have a husband for your daughter." Ambani: "But my daughter is too young to marry." Laloo : "But this young man is a vice president of the World Bank." Ambani: "Ah, in that case..." Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank. Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice president." President : "But I already have more vice presidents than I need." Laloo : "But this young man is Ambaniís son-in-law." President : "Ah, in that case..."